Joke : The Stock Market
 

Helium was up
Feathers were down
Paper was stationary
Fluorescent tubing dimmed in light trading
Knives were up sharply
Cows steered into a bull market
Pencils lost a few points
Hiking equipment trailed all day
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline
Weights were up in heavy trading
Light switches were off as traders remained in the dark
Mining equipment hit rock bottom
Diapers remain unchanged
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel
The market for raisins dried up
Coca Cola fizzled and closed flat
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit
Sun peaked at midday
Balloon prices were inflated early on but lost their volume in heated trading
Scott Tissue touched several new bottoms
And, finally, batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

 

 

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