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Joke : Police Accident Report Forms The following are copies of written statements submitted to the police on report forms. The drivers were instructed to give a brief statement on the particulars of the accident in their own words. Woman Driver(WD): Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. Man Driver (MD): I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. WD: The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in the bush with just his rear end showing. MD: In any attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. MD: I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. MD: An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished. WD: The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him. WD: I saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car. MD: The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. WD: To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. WD: I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him. MD: My girlfriend kissed me. I lost control and woke up in the hospital. MD: When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car. MD: As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. MD: The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. WD: I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. MD: I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had fractured my skull. WD: I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became squashed.
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